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Unseen Academicals
Unseen Academicals is the 37th novel in Terry Pratchett's Discworld series. The novel satirizes football (soccer as it is known in North America) and features Mustrum Ridcully setting up an Unseen University football team, with the Librarian in goal. It elaborates on life "below stairs" at the university. The book introduces several new characters, including Trevor Likely, a street urchin with a wonderful talent for kicking a tin can; Glenda Sugarbean, a maker of "jolly good" pies; Juliet Stollop, a dim but beautiful young woman who might just turn out to be the greatest fashion model there has ever been; and the mysterious Mr Nutt, a cultured, enigmatic, idealistic savant. Plot: Unseen Academicals tells the story of the faculty of Unseen University being forced to choose between (only) three meals a day and playing a game of football, as tradition mandates the game in exchange for their large financial endowment by a wealthy family. The wizards soon learn that the local version of football (similar to the actual game of mob football) is very violent and deaths are common. Thus, in collaboration with the city's tyrant Lord Vetinari, they set out to make new 'official' football rules, which includes forbidding the use of hands and mandating the use of official footballs as opposed to the makeshift balls the street games use. The book includes a satirization of the Mallard ceremony performed at All Souls College, Oxford Parallel to this, the book tells the story of four young people. A candle dribbler named Mr. Nutt discovers that he is not what he thinks he is and must overcome the fear of his race, (orcs) both by humans and by himself. He is also chosen to train the university's team for the big match. Trev Likely, who is Mr. Nutt's coworker and best friend, is the son of the Ankh-Morpork's most famous deceased footballer, but has promised his (late) dear old mum that he won't play, but ultimately saves the game. Glenda, a friend of Mr. Nutt and Trev, runs the Unseen University Night Kitchen, and bakes the Disc's best pies. Juliet works for Glenda, has a crush on Trev, is simple and beautiful, and becomes a famous fashion model. The four of them end up advising the wizards on their football endeavour, which culminates in an intense game between the Wizards and the former street footballers. Themes: One of the main themes of the book is the issue of inclusion versus exclusion which is evident in two recurring ideas in the novel. Firstly there is the theme of the outsider as villain. This is not only a common theme in literature, from fairy tales to classic literature, but is a factor in Roundworld life. Statistically, drifters, strangers to a town, etc are more likely to be wrongly charged and found guilty of violent crimes like murder and rape than should be expected, while the real culprit, the fine upstanding citizen of the town goes free. The outsider in this novel is Mr. Nutt, the dreaded 'orc" but it is also Trevor after he rejects the doctrine of the "Firm". The outsider concept is rooted in the fundamental human need to belong and bond together, whether it is the need to belong to the community as in the case of Mr. Nutt and his constant striving to have 'worth', or whether it is to the gang of hooligans like the Dolly Sisters and Dimmer football firms which Pratchett has drawn from the standard football hooligan groups prevalent throughout Europe but particularly in England in the 60s to 90s and to a lesser extend into the present. In the case of the football groups, the name Dimwell is an obvious reference to Millwall, which, like Dimwell, is a tough dock area and has a football club noted for the belligerence of its supporters. Millwall's house chant goes "Nobody loves us. And we don't care!" ''The rivalries between various football clubs, particularly those of the inner cities of such places as London, Leeds and Manchester, led to violent clashes between their "supporters" - mostly disenchanted and disenfranchised young men with little future under the Thatcher regime. This violent element among the regular fan base is known as the 'firm'. In 70s and 80s London, the Arsenal FC firm's were the "Gooners" a play on the club name 'Gunners' and "The Herd" the more violent of the two with their war-cry 'E-I-E'. Their rivals in the 1980s and to the present day are West Ham's I.C.F., Tottenham Hotspur's Yid Army, Chelsea's Headhunters and Millwall's F-Troop (later known as the Millwall Bushwackers). Millwall supporters once combined an away visit to Manchester City with looting jeweller's shops on Wilmslow Road after the mob of 2000 plus overwhelmed the three policemen assigned to escort them to the grounds. West Ham United's "fans" were immortalized in the 2005 British American film starring Elijah Wood "Green Street Hooligans". Within British football hooligan counter-culture the leaders, best fighters, and other notorious individuals in the various Firms are known as Faces. Trevor Likely states proudly, '"But I'm a Face, right?" 'This' is his cry to assert his status in the ranks of the Dimmers as someone who is known throughout all the Boroughs and who is "Important". The term was also used by counter-cultural young male gangs in the 1950's and 1960's: Teddy Boys in the 50's, and Mods and Rockers in the 60's, to describe their most notorious gang members and hardest fighters. In the latter case - 1960's scooter mods - there is even a musical about it: the Who's rock opera Quadrophenia, about London Mods, has a song called I'm the Face. There are many parallels throughout the novel with Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet and the 1957 Bernstein/Sondheim musical West Side Story, where the plot of Romeo and Juliet is updated to warring city street gangs''. '' The Dolly Sisters and the Dimmers are referred to as "They're two teams alike in villainy." ''which is a paraphrase of the prologue to "Romeo and Juliet" "Two households, both alike in dignity..." Later in the novel, Glenda and Mr Nutt go to the theatre to witness a production by the Dolly Sisters Players, called ''Starcrossed, written by Hwel. It is described as one of the great romantic plays of the last fifty years, making it roughly the same age as West Side Story. Romeo and Juliet are usually referred to as 'the star crossed lovers'. Like Romeo and Juliet, ''the lovers in ''Unseen Academicals are from opposite factions (in this case football firms) and one of the heroines is named Juliet. Glenda clearly has elements of Juliet's nurse in her character although she is more naive. She reads dime store romances but doesn't understand the meaning behind a lot of the innuendo in these cheap novels, whereas Juliet's nurse would never have missed a trick. Both however live vicariously through their "young charges". (although Pratchett's Juliet is the really same age as Glenda, the latter is mistaken for her mother) and are extremely solicitous of their welfare. The stabbing of Mr. Nutt in the street has parallels in the murder of Mercutio and Tybalt in Romeo and Juliet, ''and Riff and Bernardo in ''West Side Story. Pratchett's Romeo and Juliet theme is also interwoven with the old fairy tale Cinderella confined to an existence of catering to her stepmother and sisters by the hearth. Juliet and Glenda work in a kitchen, the hearth of a more modern home, and Juliet is confined to an existence of catering to her father and brothers. Glenda comments at one point that the two of them were busy all day 'cleaning the ovens'. To emphasis this in case anyone missed it, Pratchett has Pepe say to Glenda, "I mean, what is this? Emberella? The wand has been waved, the court is cheering, a score of handsome princes are waiting to sign up for just a sniff of her slipper, and you want her to go back to work making pumpkins?" (Embers and cinders being synonymous). When the newspapers are searching for the mysterious Jools, Glenda thinks, "They just haven't read their fairy stories.....If you want to find a beauty, you look for her int he ashes." Juliet asks her, "Do you think they'll let me in on the banquet." Both are obvious references to Cinderella. Popular References: The title is a play on the names of rugby and football teams in the UK who have or have had a connection to educational institutions, examples being Hamilton Academical and Edinburgh Academicals. At the beginning of the book, Rudolf Scattering, night-watchman at the Royal Art Museum receives a nasty surprise, which is a parody of Dan Brown's mystery thrillers of the Da Vinci Code genre. Pratchett has poked fun at this popular book in other novels. The Koom Valley Codex in Thud! ''is a take off on it. Discworld's Pedestriana is the barefoot Goddess of Football. The Manchester Guardian, (edition of 30/12/09), published an article on collections with a man who wanted to own a match program for ''every game ever played by London side Tottenham Hotspur. The newspaper reproduced the front cover of the 1921 F.A. Cup Final programme, which features a robed and barefoot Goddess of Football, the winged angel standing bare of foot atop the ball. Not surprisingly, given that she is the god of ''foot''ball her name is associated with feet. Pratchett says of Glenda's teddy bear, Mr. Wobble. "Traditionally, in the lexicon of pathos, such a bear should have only one eye, but as the result of a childhood error in Glenda's sewing, he has three, and is more enlightened than the average bear." These lines draw from the picnic basket-stealing cartoon character, Yogi Bear, who describes himself as "smarter than the average bear." The fact that Mr. Wobble has three eyes is a reference to the "third eye" of enlightenment of Buddhist and Hindhu tradition where the practitioner gains insights into the essential basis of the universe by opening the "third eye". Since a Yogi is a practitioner of these traditions, Pratchett cleverly ties both references together. The scene involving the staff at Unseen University "Hunting the Megapode" is a take off on several traditions in Britain. A megapode is a large chicken-like bird found in Australia, whose name literally means "Bigfoot". The Celtic tradition of "hunting the wren on St. Stephen's day (Dec 26th) involved capturing a wren and engaging in a day of wild revelry associated with the end of winter and the lengthening of the day. However, since the Megapode is being hunted at a university, it is more likely that Pratchett is drawing on the All Souls College, Oxford tradition of Hunting the Mallard, which traces its roots back to a "giant mallard" that supposedly flew out of the foundations of the college when it was being built in 1437. This tradition probably has roots in the 'hunting of the wren' as well. The choice is appropriate since All Souls is a research college with no students as such and the professors of Unseen University feel that their university would be much better off without the encumbrance of students interfering with their true purpose - eating. Ponder Stibbons' technique of writing the minutes of Faculty meetings before hand is based for all intents and purposes on the standard British Civil Service policy as described in the TV satire of government life'', Yes, Prime Minister'', in which Sir Humphrey Appleby is an adept at predicting in advance how a meeting will work out and can quite safely dictate the minutes in advance. The line, "Ridcully swayed backwards, like a man subjected to an attack by a hitherto comatose sheep" ''is a reference to a famous comment in the UK House of Commons in June 1978 by the Labour Chancellor of the Exchequer, Denis Healey. He described being attacked in June 1978 by mild mannered Conservative shadow Chancellor Geoffrey Howe as ''"like being savaged by a dead sheep". The line, "How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless Dean" ''is paraphrased from Shakespeare's ''King Lear who, ''in his anguished speech about Cordelia's "betrayal" says, "''How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is To have a thankless child!" The scene with Glenda and Juliet on the bus includes the line: "Just speak with a little more class, eh? You don't have to sound like--" "My fare, lady?" (the words of the conductor) Pratcett is obviously referring to the movie and play "My Fair Lady" where street flower seller Eliza Doolittle improves her Cockney speech to the point where she's taken for a fine lady at an embassy ball. After the fashion show, Juliet and Glenda take a trolley bus home because no one would mug a troll - Pratchett obviously punning on a trolley bus which is an electric bus powered by overhead wires not a ride on an actual troll. Glenda sells cosmetics door to door to the trolls very much like an Avon Lady. She comments that the trolls don't need it but want it - the basis of marketing in any world but particularly in the fashion industry. PEX the Brazeneck computer is clearly a knockoff of the Unseen University's HEX. While HEX has Round world connections such as Hexidecimal which is the base 16 system of numbers used to simplify binary number representation, and ''hex '' as in to cast a spell (appropriate for wizards) as well as ''hex '' which is Greek for 6 which is the number of legs an insect such as an ant (which powers the HEX computer) has. PEX on the other hand seems to have no connection to Roundworld. Perhaps Pratchett is just creating a similar sounding word like so many knockoff manufacturers do. Since it is powered by "P'''oultry" Pratchett may have chosen that letter accordingly. Pex is also a type of plumbing fitting. Brazeneck University is an obvious take off on Brasenose College, Oxford and the feud between the two universities has its obvious parallel in that between Oxford and Cambridge. Ridcully says '' 'Gentlemen' ...'or should I say, fellow workers by hand and brain' . Workers by hand and brain' is a key phrase in the original Clause IV for the British Labour Party, written by Beatrice and Sidney Webb, leading members of the Fabian Society (since revised in 1995). The more complete text is as follows: To secure for the workers by hand or by brain the full fruits of their industry and the most equitable distribution thereof that may be possible upon the basis of the common ownership of the means of production, distribution and exchange, and the best obtainable system of popular administration and control of each industry or service. The line, "Glenda would have followed him like a homing vulture" is a reference to ex-Python Michael Palin's gritty slice of Northern working-class life, The Testing of Eric Olthwaite, in which the little-known Northern English sport of racing homing vultures is discussed at great length. Glenda says,'' "I just happened to be holding a knife. You are holding a knife.We hold knives. This is a kitchen."'' This line is reminiscent of "The Lion in Winter", where Queen Elanor says "Of course he has a knife, he always has a knife, we all have knives! It's 1183 and we're barbarians!" Glenda asks Trevor the question, "Oh, Mr Trevor Likely ... Just one question: who ate all the pies?" This classic chant is heard on across British football grounds by the fans when a player is not playing up to par because they are not in top physical shape due to excess weight. The full chant, aimed at the luckless fat boy, is sung to the tune of Knees up Mother Brown and goes, "''Who ate all the pies? Who ate all the pies? ''You'' fat bastard, ''you'' fat bastard, you ate all the pies!"'' Footballers singled out in this way from the terraces have included England's Paul Gascoigne. The chant is reputed to be the oldest fan chant to have been continuously sung on English terraces. It was supposedly first sung in honour of William Henry "Fatty" Foulke, the legendary Sheffield United goalkeeper whose playing career spanned1894-1910. Six foot two and a svelte twelve stone at the start of his career, he was an early victim of success and the extravagant professional Edwardian footballer lifestyle. By 1902, he was estimated to weigh twenty-five stones (350 pounds) while still playing top-level football. The Sheffield United fans sang it in his honour, albeit without the "you fat bastard" line. More recently, the chant has been associated with striker Micky Quinn, who played for six football clubs in the 1980s and 1990s. He was particularly identified with the chant following an incident in a match between Quinn's then club Newcastle United and Grimsby Town in March 1992, in which a fan threw a pie onto the pitch which Quinn promptly picked up and ate. The chant even formed the title for Quinn's autobiography, which was published in 2003. Knowing Pratchett's love of minutia and obscure connections, it is likely Pratchett had these stories in mind when wrote the character of the Ankh United goalkeeper, who is seen eating and gorging his way through the big game... When Nutt is writing a love poem for Trevor to give to Juliet, he talks about Robert Scandal's famous poem, "Oi! To his Deaf Mistress". ''This is a reference to the poem by Andrew Marvell's ''"To His Coy Mistress" first published in 1681. '' Pratchett adds that, "Nutt was technically an expert on love poetry throughout the ages... he had tried to discuss it with Ladyship, but she had laughed and said that it was frivolity, although quite useful as a tutorial on the art of vocabulary, scansion rhythm, and affect as a means to an end, to wit, getting a young lady to take all her clothes off.'' This line is very reminiscent of Robert Anton Wilson's character Sigismundo Celine in "The historical Illuminatus: The Widow's Son." Celine, who is imprisoned in the Bastille, passes his time by reading the prison library and, in reflecting on romantic love poems decides that: "they mostly argue the case that a Certain Woman is like a certain Natural Phenomenon (sunlight, stars, birds, flowers, et c) and that the poet's heart, in response to this fact, was like another Natural Phenomenon (parched desert, wounded animal, dark cave, etc) and that there was only one natural resolution to this natural conjunction of natural phenomena..... she would have to take her clothes off. (p. 149 R.A.Wilson, ''The Widow's Son'', Lynx Books, New York, pub. 1985) '''"Someone at the Royal Art Museum had found the urn in an old storeroom, and it contained scrolls which, it said here, had the original rules of foot-the-ball laid down in the early years of the century of the Summer Weevil, a thousand years ago, when the game was played in honour of the goddess Pedestriana. ''A similar incident involving gods and religion is described in 2 Kings Ch. 22 of the Bible. Supposedly, a lost "Book of the Law" dating back to Moses was found in the Temple, but since the rules decribed were in the best interests of the Temple and its priests, most scholars believe that the ancient book (likely an early version of Deuteronomy) had been recently composed. When Ponder Stibbons kicks the football he is referred to being, by his "own admission, a wet and a weed." ' 'This line is a reference to the' '''Molesworth series of books by Geoffrey Willans. Molesworth, who is the narrator and a schoolboy constantly refers to his brother, Molesworth 2, as "a wet and a weed." The ''"Owlspring-Tips diagram" ''is likely a reference to the Herzsprung-Russell diagram which is used in astronomy to plot the absolute magnitude of stars against their spectral class. Category:Novels